just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
