well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
3pm strippers are depressing
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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