So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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