Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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