And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
NoShamevember. You game?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
