so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
