I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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