yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
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