Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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