so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
