I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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