You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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