I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
