So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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