alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
