He uses pillows to masturbate.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
