Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
