we're blogging at a bar
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
