dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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