You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
