Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
