I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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