do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
