So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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