bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dignity is for republicans.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize