Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize