Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
