So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
