I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
