your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
