Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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