Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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