I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
