Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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