I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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