ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sorry about my life...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
