Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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