covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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