i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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