the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
