quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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