who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
