he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
