Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
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Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
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Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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