She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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