I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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