She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
foreskin is a definite game changer
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
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