oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
