i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Congratulations! We have a period
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
