Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
