Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
