We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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