Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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