Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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