let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
