God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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