so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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