Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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