I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
