He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
