He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
